This is a story about two roads — Should and Must. It’s a pep talk for anyone who’s chosen Should for far too long — mon…
As I read this article I kept thinking about myself—as one does when reading introspective articles such as this—and how I always choose should. Looking back, yes, I always choose should. But then half way through I realized I have chosen “must” a few times in my life: New York City for an internship, University of Reading, and love.
New York City, at the time, was a must. I remember agonizing over it. This was my dream, it had been my dream, for so long it had been my dream. I MUST GO TO NEW YORK! But then I went and it ended up being a “should”. As a designer I “should” be in New York. That is where all of the magazines I loved were being published. I belonged there. Turned out to not be for me. Or at least the version of New York I experienced was not for me. So I guess my lesson for this one was beware what you think you must do because it could be “should” in disguise.
University of Reading was a must. I wasn’t happy in my life. I wanted more typography in it. At the time I didn’t think I was wanting a challenge and growth, but looking back at probably one of THE hardest and yet MOST satisfying years of my life I can say with certainty that what I wanted, what I NEEDED, what I MUST do, was be challenged. Painful, scary, homesick, growth, challenge, typography all in a ball of MUST. It was wonderful. No regrets. It was a “must” and I did it.
Love for me was/is a complicated thing. Because of my beliefs—which I still hold in my life as a reason I am able to stay centered—love for me was supposed to be about marrying someone of the same faith and sharing that life with him. But then I met someone that was so RIGHT for me. We dated long distance, like LONG distance, over the ocean distance, and our relationship struggled. I broke up with him thinking it was the right thing to do, it was what I “should” do. But almost immediately I regretted it. THE MOST MISERABLE SUMMER EVER. But then through a series of events that I won’t bore you with but have “must” written all over them we ended up back together. He and I don’t share a religion, but we share beliefs and we share values. He is my rock here on earth and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Through good and bad, he is a “must” that I cannot imagine not having in my life.
I suppose I happy to say I have a few “musts” in my life. But you need to read this article. The linked to article. Because it will make you smile. It made me smile.